The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy

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Just don’t expect to solve all of your relationship problems. A good amount of conflict is perpetual… meaning there are some things that you and your partner will rehash over and over again without progress. Maybe your partner likes to spend Friday nights with you out of the house — they want to go for a long walk or grab a pizza… and all you want to do is melt into the couch because you’re absolutely exhausted. Neither of you can agree, but you can manage conflict constructively.

JG: In the moment, turning toward in those small moments, turns out to have a big impact on conflict itself, because couples who increase their turning toward wind up having more of a sense of humor about themselves when they’re disagreeing with one another, when they’re in conflict. BB: It was nuts. I was like, “No, no, no, no. There’s something missing here. What about conflict?” And then the next paragraph says, “You might notice a few things conspicuously absent from the above list, most notably conflict.” I was like, “Dammit.”JSG: I think another part of it is that as children, most of us have been raised with criticism. Criticism is used oftentimes to control a kid’s behavior.

The Gottman Love Lab is the world’s original couples laboratory, first opened in 1986 at the University of Washington by Dr. John Gottman. More than 30 years after its inception, the Gottman Love Lab has been reimagined by The Gottman Institute for the high-tech modern age. The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today’s modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships. Whether you’re looking to fix specific problems or get the most out of your marriage or romantic relationship, couples therapists John and Julie Gottman will get you moving in the right direction. . . . There isn’t a marriage or romantic partnership out there that won’t benefit from this book.” —New York Journal of BooksNeed a date for a holiday event? A family dinner with nosy relatives pestering you about settling down? The Holidates App is the perfect answer to your busy lifestyle needs. With this dating app, find the perfect rental date; both parties set the terms and conditions, absolutely no strings attached. Life is short. Do not forget about the most important things in our life, living for other people and doing good for them.”—Marcus Aurelius

JG: One of the amazing things about building a culture of appreciation in the relationship is that it changes you. The so-called Wisconsin model of welfare reform has fascinated UK politicians on both sides of the political divide, offering a seemingly straightforward solution to the fiscal problem of rising welfare budgets and the social problem of worklessness and intergenerational poverty.

BB: It should be in colleges, it should be airlifted and dropped into people’s houses, because this is real, and in my research on shame, the loneliness comes from not having the courage or the grounded confidence to be loved and to love. And to do these things that you’re talking about. This skills building. This is like the equivalent of a basketball, how to shoot a three-pointer. This is everything. And so, I’m super grateful for it. It's valiant to want to help your partner improve their EQ. If they can do it, it will be beneficial both for your relationship and for their wellbeing. Time and time again, studies show that people with high EQs experience more fulfilling relationships, lowered stress levels and better professional success. BB: So almost in your language from this book, almost asking the other person to reveal the map, that map you talk about is understanding each other’s inner world.